\u015eivlilikten bir g\u00fcn \u00f6nce b\u00fct\u00fcn mahalle ya\u011f kokard\u0131. Kiminin tavas\u0131nda bi\u015fi kabar\u0131r, kiminin avlusunda kavurga \u00e7evrilir, bakkal Niyazi\u2019nin camek\u00e2n\u0131na renkli \u015feker paketleri y\u0131\u011f\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131. O kokular duvarlardan a\u015far, bacalara t\u0131rman\u0131r, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n uykusuna kadar sokulurdu. Bizim ev o y\u0131l hi\u00e7bir \u015fey kokmuyordu. Annem \u00f6leli k\u0131rk g\u00fcn olmu\u015ftu; mutfaktaki bak\u0131r tava, \u00e7ivide as\u0131l\u0131 duran kararm\u0131\u015f bir ay gibi sessizdi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ge\u00e7en y\u0131l annem iki kap haz\u0131rlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. B\u00fcy\u00fck bak\u0131r tasa \u00e7ocuklara da\u011f\u0131t\u0131lacaklar\u0131, mavi \u00e7inko taba\u011fa da bizim yiyeceklerimizi koymu\u015ftu. Ben gizlice b\u00fcy\u00fck tastan \u00e7ikolata a\u015f\u0131r\u0131nca bile\u011fimi yakalay\u0131p g\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f, \u201cPay\u0131na d\u00fc\u015feni bekleyemeyen, ba\u015fkas\u0131n\u0131n sevincinden yer,\u201d demi\u015fti. Sonra beni soka\u011f\u0131n sonundaki Rukiye Teyze\u2019ye yollam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Kad\u0131n\u0131n kocas\u0131 hastanede, cebi bo\u015fmu\u015f. Kap\u0131s\u0131na \u00e7ocuk gelince i\u00e7eride saklanmas\u0131n diye bir torba \u015fivlilik g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm. O vakit annemin ni\u00e7in iki kap kulland\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlayamam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. \u00c7ocuk akl\u0131, verilen \u015feyi eksilmek san\u0131yor. Baz\u0131 \u015feylerin payla\u015f\u0131ld\u0131k\u00e7a \u00e7o\u011fald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 b\u00fcy\u00fckler s\u00f6yleyince de insan onlar\u0131n hesap bilmedi\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Babam sabahtan beri pencerenin \u00f6n\u00fcnde oturuyordu. Elinde annemin diki\u015f kutusundan \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir y\u00fcks\u00fck vard\u0131. Ne i\u015fe yarayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilmeden evirip \u00e7eviriyor, arada avucuna kapat\u0131yordu. Sofan\u0131n alt\u0131ndaki sand\u0131\u011f\u0131 a\u00e7mak i\u00e7in yan\u0131na vard\u0131m.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDokunma ona,\u201d dedi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cFenerimizi alaca\u011f\u0131m.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBu evde \u015fivlilik yok bu sene.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sesi k\u0131zg\u0131n de\u011fildi. K\u0131zg\u0131n olsayd\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131k verebilirdim. \u0130nsan\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcne duvar \u00f6ren seslerden biriydi; ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7arpmadan ge\u00e7ilmiyordu. Geri \u00e7ekildim. Alt\u0131 ya\u015f\u0131ndaki karde\u015fim Zeliha kap\u0131n\u0131n arkas\u0131ndan bizi dinliyordu. Bana bak\u0131nca alt duda\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u0131s\u0131rd\u0131. Annem ona, \u015eivlilik gecesi erkenden uyuyan \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n r\u00fcyalar\u0131na fener yerine patates girece\u011fini s\u00f6ylerdi. Zeliha ge\u00e7en y\u0131ldan beri buna inan\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ak\u015fam ezan\u0131na yak\u0131n babam abdest almak i\u00e7in banyoya girdi. Sand\u0131\u011f\u0131n kapa\u011f\u0131n\u0131 usulca kald\u0131rd\u0131k. Naftalin, sabun ve annemin art\u0131k hi\u00e7bir yerde bulunmayan kokusu y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fcze vurdu. K\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 k\u00e2\u011f\u0131t fener, boh\u00e7alar\u0131n alt\u0131nda ezilmeden duruyordu. Bir y\u00fcz\u00fcnde ay, \u00f6b\u00fcr y\u00fcz\u00fcnde y\u0131ld\u0131z vard\u0131. Tel sap\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131r\u0131nca i\u00e7indeki mum yuvas\u0131 incecik ses etti. Zeliha g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnnem saklam\u0131\u015f.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBize b\u0131rakm\u0131\u015f,\u201d dedim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bu iki c\u00fcmlenin ayn\u0131 \u015fey olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ikimiz de anlamad\u0131k.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sand\u0131\u011f\u0131 kapat\u0131rken annemin ye\u015fil \u00f6nl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fcn ucu arada kald\u0131. Zeliha d\u00fczeltmek i\u00e7in \u00e7ekti; cebinden \u00fc\u00e7 tane nohut d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Ge\u00e7en y\u0131l\u0131n \u015fivlili\u011finden kalm\u0131\u015f olmal\u0131yd\u0131. Nohutlar\u0131 avucuma ald\u0131m. Annemin eli, bir an benim elimmi\u015f gibi geldi. Sonra hepsini \u00f6nl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn cebine geri koyduk. \u0130nsan \u00f6l\u00fclerin e\u015fyas\u0131n\u0131 de\u011fi\u015ftirince bir garip oluyordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Soka\u011fa \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zda Konya ayaz\u0131 di\u015flerini g\u00f6stermi\u015fti. Damlar\u0131n kenar\u0131nda buzlar, fener \u0131\u015f\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 k\u0131r\u0131p \u00e7o\u011falt\u0131yordu. \u00c7ocuklar ellerinde k\u00e2\u011f\u0131ttan y\u0131ld\u0131zlar, akordeon fenerler ve kavanozlara yerle\u015ftirilmi\u015f mumlarla Alaaddin Tepesi\u2019ne y\u00fcr\u00fcyen k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir \u0131\u015f\u0131k ordusu gibiydi. Tenekeden davula vuranlar, d\u00fcd\u00fck \u00e7alanlar, ate\u015fin \u00fczerinden atlayanlar\u2026 Her ses bir ba\u015fkas\u0131na tutunuyor, mahalle b\u00fcy\u00fcyordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
F\u0131r\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcnden ge\u00e7erken yeni k\u0131zarm\u0131\u015f bi\u015filerin kokusu soka\u011fa yay\u0131ld\u0131. Kad\u0131nlar tepsileri kom\u015fulara ta\u015f\u0131yor, erkekler ate\u015fin etraf\u0131nda \u00e7ocuklara yer a\u00e7\u0131yordu. \u0130ki evin aras\u0131na gerilmi\u015f ipte mavi, sar\u0131, ye\u015fil fenerler sallan\u0131yordu. Bir fener s\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde tan\u0131mayan bir el hemen uzan\u0131p yeniden yak\u0131yordu. O kalabal\u0131kta herkes birbirinin akrabas\u0131ym\u0131\u015f gibi davran\u0131yordu. Biz ise \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 saklayarak y\u00fcr\u00fcyorduk; sevinirsek annemize haks\u0131zl\u0131k edecekmi\u015fiz gibi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Biz kimseye g\u00f6r\u00fcnmeden arkalar\u0131na kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131k. Zeliha feneri ta\u015f\u0131yor, ben r\u00fczg\u00e2r de\u011fmesin diye elimle k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 k\u00e2\u011f\u0131d\u0131 kolluyordum. K\u00f6\u015fe ba\u015f\u0131ndaki ate\u015fe vard\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zda alevler \u00e7\u0131nar\u0131n g\u00f6vdesine kadar uzan\u0131yordu. B\u00fcy\u00fck \u00e7ocuklardan biri kuru bir dal\u0131 ate\u015ften \u00e7ekip havada \u00e7evirdi. K\u0131v\u0131lc\u0131mlar ku\u015f s\u00fcr\u00fcs\u00fc gibi da\u011f\u0131ld\u0131. \u0130\u00e7lerinden biri fenerimize kondu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00d6nce y\u0131ld\u0131z\u0131n ucu karard\u0131. Sonra k\u00e2\u011f\u0131t, i\u00e7inde saklad\u0131\u011f\u0131 ate\u015fi hat\u0131rlam\u0131\u015f gibi birden parlad\u0131. Zeliha \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131k att\u0131. Feneri elinden al\u0131p kara bast\u0131rd\u0131m. \u00c7ocuklar etraf\u0131m\u0131za topland\u0131. Birileri g\u00fcld\u00fc, birileri \u201cSu getirin,\u201d diye ba\u011f\u0131rd\u0131. Gerek kalmad\u0131. K\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 k\u00e2\u011f\u0131d\u0131n yar\u0131s\u0131, ay\u0131n bir kenar\u0131 ve y\u0131ld\u0131z\u0131n b\u00fct\u00fcn \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 birka\u00e7 nefeste k\u00fcle d\u00f6nd\u00fc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Zeliha \u00e7\u00f6meldi, kar\u0131n i\u00e7indeki siyah par\u00e7alar\u0131 toplamaya ba\u015flad\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cB\u0131rak,\u201d dedim, \u201celini yakars\u0131n.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnnem k\u0131zar.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Annemin art\u0131k k\u0131zamayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6ylemek istedim. S\u00f6ylesem, \u00f6l\u00fcm bir kez daha olacakm\u0131\u015f gibi sustum. E\u011filip tel iskeleti ald\u0131m. Mum h\u00e2l\u00e2 yan\u0131yordu. K\u00e2\u011f\u0131d\u0131 kalmam\u0131\u015f bir fener, \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 saklayam\u0131yordu art\u0131k. R\u00fczg\u00e2r ilk k\u00f6\u015fede onu da s\u00f6nd\u00fcrd\u00fc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yan\u0131m\u0131zdaki sar\u0131 fenerli \u00e7ocuk kendi mumunu uzatt\u0131. Ad\u0131 \u00d6mer\u2019di; mahalleye o k\u0131\u015f ta\u015f\u0131nm\u0131\u015flard\u0131. \u015eivlili\u011fi okulda duymu\u015f, maniyi ezberleyemedi\u011fi i\u00e7in kelimeleri k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir k\u00e2\u011f\u0131da yaz\u0131p cebine koymu\u015ftu. \u201cBundan yak\u0131n,\u201d dedi. Zeliha ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 sallad\u0131. \u201cBizimki annemindi.\u201d \u00d6mer bir \u015fey s\u00f6ylemeden mumunu \u00e7ekti. \u00c7ocuklar bazen b\u00fcy\u00fcklerden daha iyi anlar: Her karanl\u0131k \u0131\u015f\u0131k iste\u011fi de\u011fildir.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Eve d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fczde babam ayn\u0131 yerdeydi. Islak \u00e7oraplar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131, elimdeki yanm\u0131\u015f feneri g\u00f6rd\u00fc. Bir \u015fey sormad\u0131. Y\u00fcks\u00fc\u011f\u00fc avucuna kapatt\u0131. O gece Zeliha\u2019n\u0131n r\u00fcyas\u0131na ne girdi bilmiyorum; benim r\u00fcyamda annem, karanl\u0131k bir soka\u011f\u0131n b\u00fct\u00fcn kap\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 tek tek \u00e7al\u0131yor, hi\u00e7birinden ses alam\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sabah daha g\u00fcne\u015f do\u011fmadan \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131\u015flar\u0131 ba\u015flad\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c\u015eivli \u015fivli \u015fi\u015firmi\u015f, erken kalkan pi\u015firmi\u015f, iki \u00e7\u00f6rek bir b\u00f6rek, bize namazl\u0131k gerek! \u015eivlilik!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Zeliha yata\u011f\u0131mdan yorgan\u0131 \u00e7ekti. Boynunda annemin dikti\u011fi \u00e7i\u00e7ekli bez torba vard\u0131. Ben un \u00e7uval\u0131ndan yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m keseyi cebime s\u0131k\u0131\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131m. Babam uyuyor g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyordu. Yan\u0131ndan ge\u00e7erken g\u00f6zlerinin kapal\u0131, ka\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n uyan\u0131k oldu\u011funu g\u00f6rd\u00fcm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u0130lk kap\u0131y\u0131 Safiye Nine a\u00e7t\u0131. Avucumuza i\u011fde, leblebi ve iki tane tar\u00e7\u0131nl\u0131 akide b\u0131rakt\u0131. Zeliha\u2019ya uzun uzun bakt\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnan\u0131n eli boldu,\u201d dedi. \u201cGeleni bo\u015f \u00e7evirmezdi.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Zeliha \u015fekeri a\u011fz\u0131na atacakken durdu. Torbas\u0131na koydu. Sonraki evde gofret, \u00f6tekinde kuru \u00fcz\u00fcm, bir ba\u015fkas\u0131nda portakal verdiler. Soka\u011f\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131na vard\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zda torbalar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n dibi g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u00fcyordu. \u00c7ocuklar kimin daha \u00e7ok toplad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 tart\u0131yor, paketleri de\u011fi\u015f toku\u015f ediyor, ceplerine gizledikleri \u00e7ikolatalar\u0131 say\u0131yordu. Zeliha yaln\u0131z bizim eve bak\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00d6mer de bize kat\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Maniye her kap\u0131da ba\u015fka bir yerden giriyor, \u201ciki \u00e7\u00f6rek\u201d k\u0131sm\u0131n\u0131 y\u00fcksek sesle s\u00f6yleyip gerisini yutuyordu. Zeliha ona s\u00f6zc\u00fckleri \u00f6\u011fretti. Bir evin \u00f6n\u00fcnde po\u015feti alttan y\u0131rt\u0131ld\u0131; toplad\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u015fekerler kara sa\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131. Hepimiz \u00e7\u00f6melip arad\u0131k. \u00c7ocuklardan baz\u0131lar\u0131 bulduklar\u0131n\u0131 kendi torbas\u0131na att\u0131. Zeliha iki akidesinden birini \u00d6mer\u2019in cebine koydu. \u00d6mer fark etti, ses etmedi. Bundan sonra maniyi hi\u00e7 \u015fa\u015f\u0131rmad\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBizim kap\u0131ya da gidelim.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBabam a\u00e7maz.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBelki bize a\u00e7ar.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00c7ocuklar\u0131 pe\u015fimize takt\u0131k. Kendi evimizin \u00f6n\u00fcnde, yabanc\u0131 bir kap\u0131ya gelmi\u015f gibi s\u0131raya dizildik. Hep beraber maniyi s\u00f6yledik. Sesimiz pencereleri titretti. Bekledik. \u0130\u00e7eriden soban\u0131n \u00e7\u0131t\u0131rt\u0131s\u0131 duyuluyordu. Zeliha yumru\u011fuyla kap\u0131ya vurdu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBaba, biz geldik.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Perdenin gerisinde bir g\u00f6lge k\u0131p\u0131rdad\u0131. Kap\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131lmad\u0131. Arkadaki \u00e7ocuklardan biri g\u00fcld\u00fc, \u00f6teki kolundan \u00e7ekti. Birer iki\u015fer da\u011f\u0131ld\u0131lar. Sonunda ikimiz kald\u0131k. Zeliha ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBizim ev \u00f6ld\u00fc m\u00fc?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bu sorunun cevab\u0131 bende yoktu. Kap\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcndeki kardan k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir par\u00e7a kopar\u0131p avucumda s\u0131kt\u0131m. So\u011fuk, can\u0131m\u0131 ac\u0131t\u0131ncaya kadar bekledim. Sonra torbam\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131p Zeliha\u2019ya g\u00f6sterdim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ge\u00e7en y\u0131l annemin beni Rukiye Teyze\u2019ye yollad\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00fcn\u00fc o anda hat\u0131rlad\u0131m. Kapal\u0131 kap\u0131n\u0131n ard\u0131nda utanarak bekleyen bir insan\u0131n, a\u00e7 \u00e7ocuktan daha yoksul olabilece\u011fini ilk kez d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm. Bizim i\u00e7eride de babam, yoklu\u011funu kimse g\u00f6rmesin diye sessizce oturuyordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDaha \u00e7ok toplamam\u0131z gerek.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00d6\u011fleye kadar girmedi\u011fimiz sokak kalmad\u0131. Meram\u2019\u0131n kerpi\u00e7 evleri, apartman aralar\u0131na s\u0131k\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f avlular\u0131, demir kap\u0131lar\u0131 birer birer a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131. Kimi ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 ok\u015fad\u0131, kimi aceleyle bir avu\u00e7 \u015feker uzatt\u0131. Bir evde ya\u015fl\u0131 bir adam, verecek hi\u00e7bir \u015fey bulamay\u0131nca cebinden iki ceviz \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131. Bir ba\u015fka kap\u0131da yeni ta\u015f\u0131nm\u0131\u015f bir kad\u0131n manimizi anlamad\u0131; g\u00fcl\u00fcmseyip mandalina verdi. Torbalar a\u011f\u0131rla\u015ft\u0131k\u00e7a kollar\u0131m\u0131z uzuyor gibiydi. Zeliha yoruldu, fakat tek \u015feker yemedi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kap\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcndeki son \u00e7ocuklar da\u011f\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131nda sokak sessizle\u015fti. Uzakta bir davul h\u00e2l\u00e2 d\u00fczensiz vuru\u015flarla konu\u015fuyor, bacalardan \u00e7\u0131kan duman al\u00e7ak g\u00f6\u011fe yay\u0131l\u0131yordu. Zeliha y\u00fcr\u00fcrken torbas\u0131n\u0131 iki eliyle tutuyor, i\u00e7indekiler d\u00f6k\u00fclmesin diye de\u011fil, karar\u0131ndan vazge\u00e7mesin diye s\u0131k\u0131yordu. Bir ara durup bana bakt\u0131. \u201cBabam \u015fekerleri g\u00f6r\u00fcnce k\u0131zar m\u0131?\u201d dedi. \u201cBelki.\u201d \u201cYa annem sevinirse?\u201d Bu ihtimal, \u00f6n\u00fcm\u00fczdeki yolu k\u0131saltt\u0131. Eve kadar ko\u015fmad\u0131k; fakat ad\u0131mlar\u0131m\u0131z art\u0131k bize ait de\u011fildi. Sanki annem, iki omzumuzun aras\u0131na g\u00f6r\u00fcnmeyen ellerini koymu\u015f, bizi o kapal\u0131 kap\u0131ya do\u011fru usulca itiyordu. Mahallenin b\u00fct\u00fcn a\u00e7\u0131k kap\u0131lar\u0131 arkam\u0131zda kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131; \u015fimdi a\u00e7\u0131lmas\u0131 gereken tek kap\u0131, kendi evimizin kap\u0131s\u0131yd\u0131 ve anahtar\u0131 cebimizde de\u011fildi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Eve d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fczde babam sofran\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131nda, bo\u015f bak\u0131r tas\u0131n kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda oturuyordu. Annem ge\u00e7en y\u0131l \u015fivlilikleri o tasa doldurmu\u015ftu. Torbam\u0131n a\u011fz\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcp i\u00e7indekileri bo\u015faltt\u0131m. \u015eekerler, leblebiler, gofretler ve cevizler bak\u0131ra \u00e7arparak odaya renkli bir ya\u011fmur gibi d\u00f6k\u00fcld\u00fc. Zeliha da torbas\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131rd\u0131. En dipteki iki tar\u00e7\u0131nl\u0131 akideyi avucunda biraz tuttu, sonra onlar\u0131 da b\u0131rakt\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Masan\u0131n bir k\u00f6\u015fesinde annemin ye\u015fil \u00f6nl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc duruyordu. Babam sand\u0131ktan \u00e7\u0131karm\u0131\u015f, \u00f6zenle katlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Cebinden d\u00fc\u015fen \u00fc\u00e7 nohudu \u00f6nl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn \u00fczerine dizmi\u015fti. Demek bizden sonra sand\u0131\u011f\u0131 a\u00e7m\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Babam aya\u011fa kalkt\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBunlar sizin,\u201d dedi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cKap\u0131 kapal\u0131ysa bizim de\u011fil.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bana bakt\u0131. Y\u00fcz\u00fc, uzun zamand\u0131r i\u00e7inde oturdu\u011fu karanl\u0131ktan yeni \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015f gibiydi. Tam konu\u015facakken kap\u0131 \u00e7al\u0131nd\u0131. D\u0131\u015far\u0131dan tek bir \u00e7ocu\u011fun \u00fcrkek sesi geldi:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c\u015eivlilik\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Babam k\u0131p\u0131rdamad\u0131. Tas\u0131 kuca\u011f\u0131ma al\u0131p kap\u0131ya y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fcm. Elini omzuma koydu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDur,\u201d dedi, \u201cberaber a\u00e7al\u0131m.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kap\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcnde, bizim mahalleden olmayan, ince montlu bir o\u011flan duruyordu. Elindeki po\u015fetin dibi bo\u015ftu. Babam e\u011filip tasa dald\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131 iki avu\u00e7 \u015fekeri \u00e7ocu\u011fun po\u015fetine b\u0131rakt\u0131. Sonra bir avu\u00e7 daha koydu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cElini bol tut,\u201d dedi kendi kendine. Bu, annemin s\u00f6z\u00fcyd\u00fc. S\u00f6yler s\u00f6ylemez dudaklar\u0131 titredi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Haber \u00e7ocuklardan h\u0131zl\u0131 yay\u0131ld\u0131. Biraz sonra kap\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcnde yeni bir kuyruk olu\u015ftu. Mani, kahkaha, ayakkab\u0131 g\u0131c\u0131rt\u0131s\u0131, so\u011fuk hava hep birlikte i\u00e7eri doldu. Babam da\u011f\u0131tt\u0131, Zeliha da\u011f\u0131tt\u0131, ben tas\u0131n dibindeki son cevizi verdim. Hi\u00e7birimize bir \u015fey kalmad\u0131. Yine de ev, uzun s\u00fcren bir a\u00e7l\u0131ktan kalkm\u0131\u015f gibi doymu\u015ftu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Safiye Nine de kuyru\u011fun gerisinde belirdi. Elinde s\u0131cak bi\u015fi taba\u011f\u0131 vard\u0131. Babama bir \u015fey s\u00f6ylemedi; taba\u011f\u0131 e\u015fi\u011fe b\u0131rakt\u0131. Babam ba\u015f\u0131yla selam verdi. O k\u0131sa bak\u0131\u015fta taziye de vard\u0131, bayram da, kalanlar\u0131n birbirine mecbur olu\u015fu da. Kap\u0131 art\u0131k kapanm\u0131yordu. Ayaz odaya doluyor, kimse \u00fc\u015f\u00fcm\u00fcyordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00c7ocuklar gidince babam yanm\u0131\u015f feneri eline ald\u0131. Soban\u0131n yan\u0131na oturup telini d\u00fczeltti. Bakkaldan ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 ya\u011fl\u0131 k\u00e2\u011f\u0131d\u0131 iskelete \u00f6l\u00e7t\u00fc, kesti, yap\u0131\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131. Eski ay\u0131n sa\u011flam yar\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 b\u0131rakt\u0131; yanan y\u0131ld\u0131z\u0131n yerine k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir kap\u0131 \u00e7izdi. Ak\u015fam olmadan mumu yakt\u0131 ve feneri pencereye ast\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
D\u0131\u015far\u0131da kar yeniden ba\u015flad\u0131. Sokaktan ge\u00e7enler, g\u00fcnd\u00fcz vakti yanan o tuhaf fenere d\u00f6n\u00fcp bakt\u0131lar. Zeliha cama burnunu dayad\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnnem g\u00f6r\u00fcr m\u00fc?\u201d diye sordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Babam cevap vermedi. Bizi yan\u0131na \u00e7ekti. Omzu ilk kez s\u0131cak geldi. Penceredeki k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck kap\u0131, mumun titrek \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131yla a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131p kapan\u0131yor gibiydi. O g\u00fcn anlad\u0131m: Baz\u0131 evler \u00f6lmezdi. Yaln\u0131z i\u00e7eriden birinin kap\u0131y\u0131 a\u00e7mas\u0131n\u0131 beklerdi.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u015eivlilikten bir g\u00fcn \u00f6nce b\u00fct\u00fcn mahalle ya\u011f kokard\u0131. Kiminin tavas\u0131nda bi\u015fi kabar\u0131r, kiminin avlusunda kavurga \u00e7evrilir, bakkal Niyazi\u2019nin camek\u00e2n\u0131na renkli \u015feker paketleri y\u0131\u011f\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131. O kokular duvarlardan a\u015far, bacalara t\u0131rman\u0131r, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n uykusuna kadar sokulurdu. Bizim ev o y\u0131l hi\u00e7bir \u015fey kokmuyordu. Annem \u00f6leli k\u0131rk g\u00fcn olmu\u015ftu; mutfaktaki bak\u0131r tava, \u00e7ivide as\u0131l\u0131 duran kararm\u0131\u015f bir ay gibi …<\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":8990,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_eb_attr":"","footnotes":"","_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"categories":[87],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8943","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-oyku"],"rttpg_featured_image_url":{"full":["https:\/\/yazinulkesi.com.tr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/kapidaki-isik.png",1563,1250,false],"landscape":["https:\/\/yazinulkesi.com.tr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/kapidaki-isik.png",1563,1250,false],"portraits":["https:\/\/yazinulkesi.com.tr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/kapidaki-isik.png",1563,1250,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/yazinulkesi.com.tr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/kapidaki-isik-150x120.png",150,120,true],"medium":["https:\/\/yazinulkesi.com.tr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/kapidaki-isik-300x240.png",300,240,true],"large":["https:\/\/yazinulkesi.com.tr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/kapidaki-isik-1024x819.png",1024,819,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/yazinulkesi.com.tr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/kapidaki-isik-1536x1228.png",1536,1228,true],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/yazinulkesi.com.tr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/kapidaki-isik.png",1563,1250,false],"codate_slider":["https:\/\/yazinulkesi.com.tr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/kapidaki-isik-1563x1000.png",1563,1000,true],"codate_item":["https:\/\/yazinulkesi.com.tr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/kapidaki-isik-550x350.png",550,350,true],"codate_item_vetical":["https:\/\/yazinulkesi.com.tr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/kapidaki-isik-500x800.png",500,800,true],"codate_item_masonry":["https:\/\/yazinulkesi.com.tr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/kapidaki-isik-550x440.png",550,440,true],"codate_blog":["https:\/\/yazinulkesi.com.tr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/kapidaki-isik-417x340.png",417,340,true],"codate_single":["https:\/\/yazinulkesi.com.tr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/kapidaki-isik-852x500.png",852,500,true],"codate_tabs":["https:\/\/yazinulkesi.com.tr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/kapidaki-isik-90x90.png",90,90,true]},"rttpg_author":{"display_name":"editorYasin","author_link":"https:\/\/yazinulkesi.com.tr\/author\/editoryasin"},"rttpg_comment":0,"rttpg_category":"\u00d6yk\u00fc<\/a>","rttpg_excerpt":"\u015eivlilikten bir g\u00fcn \u00f6nce b\u00fct\u00fcn mahalle ya\u011f kokard\u0131. Kiminin tavas\u0131nda bi\u015fi kabar\u0131r, kiminin avlusunda kavurga \u00e7evrilir, bakkal Niyazi\u2019nin camek\u00e2n\u0131na renkli \u015feker paketleri y\u0131\u011f\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131. O kokular duvarlardan a\u015far, bacalara t\u0131rman\u0131r, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n uykusuna kadar sokulurdu. Bizim ev o y\u0131l hi\u00e7bir \u015fey kokmuyordu. Annem \u00f6leli k\u0131rk g\u00fcn olmu\u015ftu; mutfaktaki bak\u0131r tava, \u00e7ivide as\u0131l\u0131 duran kararm\u0131\u015f bir ay gibi…","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/yazinulkesi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8943","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/yazinulkesi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/yazinulkesi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yazinulkesi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yazinulkesi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8943"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/yazinulkesi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8943\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8945,"href":"https:\/\/yazinulkesi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8943\/revisions\/8945"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yazinulkesi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/8990"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/yazinulkesi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8943"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yazinulkesi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8943"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yazinulkesi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8943"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}